life

"You can plan your life as much as you want. But there will be times that another path you were not expecting will open up, and you have to make the decision whether to take it or not. Sometimes, you'll do great, sometimes you will fail, but that is part of it all." --Bianca Gonzales

As a self-confessed perfectionist, I tried to plan my life when I was a kid. I wanted everything to be perfect in my own sense. 


Yet, innocence and emotions changed everything. I became irrational. I made a wrong decision. I went into something that I wasn't prepared at all.  And, it's doomed to fail.


That wrong decision is haunting me until now. It's like a shadow that keeps on following me wherever I go. It's my self-made monster.


Now, my life isn't great like what I planned it to be. I can't even make my own decision. I can't even do what I want to. I can't even pursue my own happiness.


I am not complaining, though.


I learned things. I learned to wait. I learned to be patient. I learned to see the beauty of life even under the most challenging situation. I learned to smile even my tears are falling. I learned to appreciate that I, even not perfect, am still alive, breathing... and there are people who love me despite myself.