reliving childhood

  I love visiting parks. They remind me of my childhood, when  life was easy- eating, playing, watching TV, studying. I never worried about anything else except for my grades and the food I would put in my ever-hungry stomach.

 Now, life is way too different- full of struggles, heartaches, disappointments. Yet, it is worth living and enjoying.

  A failure doesn't mean the end. It should mean try again. A heartache doesn't mean you're not worth loving. There's someone better out there. 

  Learn from a child. After falling down and bruising his knee, he will stand, smile, and run again. Yes, he might cry but that won't stop him from doing something he enjoys.

  Never give up. Hope. Enjoy life, like a child. Smile.

  

a bench for two

Ibajay Town Park

life

"You can plan your life as much as you want. But there will be times that another path you were not expecting will open up, and you have to make the decision whether to take it or not. Sometimes, you'll do great, sometimes you will fail, but that is part of it all." --Bianca Gonzales

As a self-confessed perfectionist, I tried to plan my life when I was a kid. I wanted everything to be perfect in my own sense. 


Yet, innocence and emotions changed everything. I became irrational. I made a wrong decision. I went into something that I wasn't prepared at all.  And, it's doomed to fail.


That wrong decision is haunting me until now. It's like a shadow that keeps on following me wherever I go. It's my self-made monster.


Now, my life isn't great like what I planned it to be. I can't even make my own decision. I can't even do what I want to. I can't even pursue my own happiness.


I am not complaining, though.


I learned things. I learned to wait. I learned to be patient. I learned to see the beauty of life even under the most challenging situation. I learned to smile even my tears are falling. I learned to appreciate that I, even not perfect, am still alive, breathing... and there are people who love me despite myself.

fear

One dictionary defines fear as a distressing emotion aroused buy impending danger, evil, or pain, whether the threat is real or imagined.

This bamboo bridge really scared me. Sorry, but I couldn't step on it. I tried but I knew I would fall if I dare to cross it.


Well, in the end my two partners succeeded in crossing this bridge while I waited at this end.


Hmmm... 

Actually, there are things that I really fear a lot. 

1. Losing the favor of my greatest love, Jehovah God. I would be nothing without him.

2. Losing a loved one in death... But death is a part of this imperfect life. Good thing, there's a hope of resurrection. Yet, it's still painful...

3. Failure. I dunno...I guess I am a perfectionist that I want everything I am doing is successful. I am imperfect so failure is inevitable.

4. Someone mad at me. Oh... I want to please everybody... tsk, tsk, tsk...

5. Being left alone and forgotten. I hate the idea of someone I love, leaves me. But that happens. All I can do is move on...ouch...and wait for his return.

and the list is endless...

They say, face your fears. Why would I put myself in a distressing situation when I can avoid it?

So next time, I'm gonna see that bamboo bridge, I'll opt to go to the next house. :)