sunny day

   After a night of drama, I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the preaching work. As usual, my partners were Grizzly and Hilary. I think we would be Saturday partners until they are brave enough to be with other sisters. (lol)
    Here are some of our pictures for today:

 

self control

   While walking and getting bitten by mosquitoes this morning. I thought about something: I need to exercise self-control.

   My mosquito bites were so itchy that I couldn't stop myself from scratching them, and that would definitely result to unsightly marks on my skin. Oh no! I needed to stop my self from scratching. Self-control. "Bear the itch, Bing." It was kinda' mind over matter. And I was successful. After a few minutes, I totally forgot about the itchiness and continued with what I was doing.

   So I guess, the same effort is needed with other urges and emotions to avoid being hurt or other unwanted consequences. We can't just give in to all our desires, cravings, and the like. See, if you indulge in your cravings, you'll end up FAT and unhealthy! If you keep on scratching a bite, you'll get unsightly marks. If you give in to all the desires of your eyes, you'll end up POOR or in debt.

   Aside from anger, one emotion that's hard to control is LOVE, falling in love. It's hard to shut the heart down. It has no switch. But sometimes, we have to control what we feel to avoid more pain, more self destruction. SELF CONTROL. SELF CONTROL. SELF CONTROL  ( And I need this- a lot)

broken to pieces

  She kept it for so long, unharmed. It was the only thing she had. It kept her breathing. It kept her alive.
  ----
  Somebody came and took it from her. He promised to keep it safe. Yes, he tried his best to protect her living piece.
 ---
  Life made a joke on them. He had to give it back. But that was impossible...
 ---
  Now, she had her heart back, broken to pieces.
 ---
  Yet, she stood strong...

study partners

   Saturday afternoon is always spent in Bible studies with long walks and chitchats in between. Well, we talk about upbuilding things. (lol) 

    Who says you can't have fun while you're in the ministry? The best bonding you can do with your friends is the ministry- as you walk, you get to talk, exchange encouraging experiences, look at picturesque sights, take pictures, lose some calories...and the list goes on... (lol)

   Here, we were on the way to the next house that's located in the next baranggay (whew!) and we saw piles of stones. We decided to stop for a while and have some picture taking. 

    one, two, three....say yes!

Ibajay RPs

   These pictures were taken yesterday. I was so lazy and sick that I forgot to upload them. 

   anyway....

   Presenting.... the regular pioneers of Group 6, Ibajay Congregation. 

   ----

  As you can see, they were all sitting on the roots of Mahogany trees. 

   

Maylene Florentino

Cyrene Ilinon

Gay Sarmiento

future RP: Ruby

    Yesterday, there was a part in the meeting that encouraged everyone to enter full-time service. Two regular pioneers were interviewed by Bro. Randy Ilinon, our service overseer. Their experiences were upbuilding- continuing in their full-time service despite obstacles.
       They also gave us  a good laugh... (lol)

Ate Diding and Mother being interviewed by Bro Ilinon 

future RPs

   My preaching partners for today are Hilary and Grizzly. I think, I am assigned every Saturday to accompany them in the field ministry. Every week, I see their improvement in expressing their beliefs to other people- young and old.

    Today, Hilary placed 5 brochures and Grizzly, 4. 

future regular pioneers

Hilary talking to an old man

blank

   I don't know what's happening to my brain these days. It feels empty.

bro's pets

 If I have my dogs, my brother has his chicks. (lol) To date, my brother has 15 chicks and still counting....
 Rural life has given us different atmosphere, something that we're still on the process of getting used to...

KH cleaning

   "Holy, holy, holy is Jehovah of armies"- Isaiah 6:3

   Holy means clean or pure. Since we serve Jehovah, the clean and holy God, it's appropriate that we keep our house of worship clean and presentable.
  Today, we had a schedule of cleaning our Kingdom hall. We pulled some grass, changed the curtains, and cleaned the roof and CR.
  Cleaning the hall and its yard gives an ample time to bond with the brothers and sisters. It's also encouraging to see young and old alike work together in unity.
    Our Kingdom Hall is now ready for Sunday's meeting and inspection on Monday. :)

control

   I did it!
   Tonight,  I have successfully controlled the urge to talk to him. :) I am going somewhere, I guess.
   Actually, it's not easy to just stop talking to a person, especially when I have nothing against him. I am doing it because I need to stop hurting myself more. The idea here is, the more time I spend with him the deeper is my emotional attachment.
   You see, almost everyone is against 'us.' They don't like me for him. As the song goes, 'they say we don't fit together.' That fact hurts.
   Maybe, he has given up already or he's just waiting for the right time. I don't know.  Have I given up already? I don't know, either. I am scared to know the truth...

dispensable

  Dispensable- That's what I think people see me. The worst is, they are the people I value much. They consider me as someone they can have when they want to. But when the situation gets hard, they leave me alone; they drop me. I don't blame them. I am not special- I am just one of the 7 billion people on this planet

why...

   People hurt themselves more by holding on to something they can't have. Why not let go and enjoy your life? Why cry over a person when he can't stand by you? Why hope when he's pushing you away? Why wait  for something you're unsure of? 

   ....because you love him.... And no matter how hard you try, your heart still wants him. Who wants to get hurt? Nobody, and neither do you...

change nothing

   I have a new favorite song- Change Nothing. Actually, it tells exactly what I am going through. It's a sad song- as sad as my love story. 

Everyday I'm waking up to dejavu
Someone's always telling me not to stick with you
Could it be the nights we spent to fixin' us
I never thought that we were really that messed up

Should've shut my mouth and kept it all to myself
Cause now they've got me feeling I should be with somebody else.

They say we don't fit together
And I could do better, There's always something
They don't know the hell we've been through
Cause when you hold me like you do
That's when I wanna change nothing

There were times when we would kiss with bitter lips
It don't matter when the good ones taste like this
Maybe we were broken more than once or twice
What we got bad or not I'm not gonna compromise

I should have never let their words get under my skin
Cause all I ever wanted was to find a way through this

They say we don't fit together
I could do better, There's always something
They don't know the hell we've been through
Cause when you hold me like you do
That's when I wanna change nothing, Oh
That's when I wanna change nothing

Should've shut my mouth and kept it all to myself
No, no, oh, ooooh, yeah...

They say we don't fit together and I could do better
There's always something
Oooohhh....

(They don't know the hell we've been through,Cause when you hold me like you do)
That's when I wanna change nothing, Oh
That's when I wanna change nothing
That's when I wanna change nothing, Oh
That's when I wanna change nothing...

*** I hope someday, they'd tell us that we fit together. 

worried

   I hate this feeling. I am so worried and I can't do anything.

   I want to be a superwoman and fly there just to know if you're okay or to save you from distress.
   I want to be a shield to cover you from harm.
   Or I just want to be next to you.

travel

   I love to travel alone. Sitting by myself in a bus gives me time to ponder over my life. All I need is my bag and all the stuff in it- my phone to call anyone in case I need help, my old ipod so I can listen to music and write notes when I feel like doing it, my digicam to capture priceless moments, my wallet, and my kikay kit.
   Today, I am alone traveling to the province's capital by jeepney. I choose to sit behind the driver so I won't be bothered by anyone. I also think this is the safest place when you're commuting.

the driver beside the pensive me

   The travel time is 45 minutes to an hour. But the view is superb. Coconut and century-old trees line the road. Lush mountains on the left and rice fields on the right. Native houses here and there. I think this place is a semi-paradise.

   One more thing I like about traveling alone is I get to observe the people around me. Different faces, different reactions. Some are asleep. Others are watching the view, texting, or watching me too.

blurred 

   When I look at people, I sometimes see myself in them. We are all basically the same. We all feel the same emotions. We do the same things- wake up, eat, and try to survive. It's just that each of us handles things differently so some emerge successful and others fail. And I don't want to be in the failing half.
   Now I am traveling because I want to survive. You see, Aklan is a nice place but it doesn't offer a lot of career opportunities. Some people here unknowingly hinder the progress that this place can have by being too narrow-minded. No wonder why many leave the place to work abroad or to some other areas where the pasture is greener. They think Aklan is just good for vacation not for permanent residence.
  I am here to prove them wrong. This place has lots of potential.
  Anyway, enough of this. I need to get off the jeep. 'Til next time I write my thoughts down.

realization

   I've been quite emotional lately. It's like I became a cry baby. Tears kept on falling for some reasons I know.
  However, I woke up today finally realizing that life's too short to get depressed about something. Life is meant for us to enjoy. Happiness does not depend on the situation, but on one's outlook.
   So what, if I am alone? Does that make me a lesser person? I don't think so. Last night, I read about the most fulfilled person who lived on earth. And guess what, he remained single his whole life. Yup, you read me right. Jesus Christ, the greatest man on earth, remained single but he was happy. He even enumerated what could make a person happy, and marriage wasn't on the list. (Matthew 5)
  So what that I was discriminated? If they don't like me, no problem! They don't deserve me, nordo  I deserve to work for them. They wanted me to give up my beliefs in exchange for a not so big amount of money. No way! On my side is the Creator and the Owner of the universe. He will, and can provide everything that I need. Why should I choose work over Him?
  So what that my life is complicated? In this imperfect world, nothing is simple and easy. We need patience and endurance. Athletes work hard to win. Students study hard to graduate. They don't get their diplomas just after reading a book! Everybody struggles. And because I brought this kind of life to myself, then I have to live with it. I shouldn't be blaming myself over and over again because nothing would happen. It wouldn't bring me back to the past. It wouldn't undo things. I shouldn't think of the 'what ifs.' It wouldn't get me anywhere either.
  So I have this simple rule: accept what life offers one day at a time. Usually, there's always something good everyday. Well, waking up is one huge blessing. All I need is to appreciate little things to enjoy the greatness of life.

young ones

"Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings you have furnished praise?”- Matthew 21:16

     The above words are certainly true. 

    Today, my field service partners, Grizzly and Hilary, tried to overcome their shyness and preached boldly to young and old alike. They talked to people about our God Jehovah and His purpose on earth. 

    It's always an encouraging sight to see young ones serve our Creator, Jehovah God.

Grizzly talking to an old man.

Hilary talking to her schoolmate

Grizzly talking to another old man

Hilary tried to preach to a busy man. He listened and responded though.

waking up

  I hate my feeling when I woke up today. I feel so insecure.
  What's one or two months compared to the years they were together? 

true love?

   Love is universal. Whatever your race, country, color, or gender, you fall in love.
   Yes, we all have love stories to share. Some have happy endings. Some are worth keeping and retelling from generation to generation. Others are too painful to talk about, and even to think about.
  However, there's this love story that attracts my interest... I am a witness, so I can tell.

  She fell in love with this amazing guy, as she always describes him. For her, he's the ideal man-someone she knew who would take care of her. Why not? He made her feel special as if she's the most important and the most beautiful person in the world. He gave her much of his time. He made her coffee everyday possible. He put a smile on her face. And most of all, he loved her despite her extraordinary situation.

  I never thought that would happen- that she would fall for him, nor him for her. It was against all odds. True enough, time wasn't on their side. Everything's against the love they had for each other. No matter how strong the love they had, they needed to part ways.

  I saw how painful it was for her. She loved him. She loved him so much that she had almost given up everything for him. But that same love drove her to let go of him. She loved him so much that she didn't want to hurt him anymore. She did this despite the fact that she almost died. Yes, a part of her died when he left.
  I saw how she endured everyday when everything reminded her of him. She was crazy. But she was strong. She survived even if her heart was broken to pieces. She put them together piece by piece. She moved on one day at a time.

  I knew how he tried to forget her. What's the use? He thought that they would never be together. He decided not to contact her anymore. He removed her even from his contacts list. He needed to survive without her. His life must go on...and it did.
  He fell in love again. He found a new love- she was pretty and sophisticated. They were happy. They decided to get married. But, the new love couldn't accept him completely. He was hurt again.

  She learned about the break up. And again, she felt pain in her heart. I don't know why. She has moved on already! But when it comes to him, she always has the soft spot. I saw her cry again.

  Months passed. In a very unexpected situation,  their paths crossed. That was the first time they saw each other after three years.No words, not even a smile. They just looked at each other. I was there. I saw his face. He was shocked, and so was she.

   After that meeting, nothing happened. Life must go on for them.

  Months passed. unexpectedly, there was a friend invite for her. It was him. She was puzzled- why? But I saw in her eyes, she was happy inside. She accepted. I was worried.

  There wasn't any exchange of hi's and hellos. They were friends again, technically.

  Then one day, she received a mail from him. I saw the excitement in her eyes. What? I wanted her to control herself. No, not again. But she was decided and she replied. Twice, Thrice.

  Now, she was starting to fall for him again. Oh no! He confessed his love. Oh no! For the second time, they fell in love-against all odds.
  For the second time, something's not on their side. They couldn't be together. The situation was too complicated. They had to let go.

   He promised to love her-only her, despite the separation and the distance.  His love and faithfulness is now under test. Will he keep his word? Only time can tell.

   I see her crying again. Why didn't I stop her, in the first place? I dunno. Maybe, I know that she loves him so much, and that she will never stop loving him. Hers is an example of an undying love, loving selflessly, loving selfishly. Perhaps, hers is a true love at the wrong time.


  Let's see where time takes them. Will their love prove to be true? No one knows. As for me, I can only be a witness.